evil, you?

So I’m just curious where did it come from, and what is it?  Last week I was leading a study in the book of James (Chapter 1) and we got onto rather good discussion about this.  I’m just kinda what your thoughts are.  I’m not here to start a argument, or whatever.  I’m just curious what you, the reader, thinks about this.  Let me know.  Also another question I have is, is Sin and Evil the same thing?

Marketing(Not sure this is what it means to be ‘sold out’)

 

Speculators via Nakedpastor

 

Don’t need to say much about this one.  

 

(HT: nakedpastor)

What we love.

Yesterday morning I finished up John Piper’s book “Don’t Waste your Life”.  It was a great book, but a book I thought that the points could have been better defined and brought to a quicker attention rather than the drawn out process that Piper followed throughout the book.  Anyway, as I worked my way through the book I was underlining things that I wanted to be able to go back and look at as key points to take away and remember.  One point that stood out to me was one where he was talking about our Shame and our Treasure. Who and what we put our Treasure in.  Here is the quote I underlined.

What you love determines what you feel shame about.  If you love for men to make much of you, you will feel shame when they don’t.  But if you love for men to make much of Christ, then you will feel shame if he is belittled on your account.

Ouch.  I think this is one of this Iron sharpens Iron moments in my life.  So often I strive to make men & women much of me.  By my accomplishments, by what I know or say, or even how I try to help people, etc. There is so many times that its about me or trying to make it about others.  I get lost in the selfishness of my own desires. And when I don’t get the recognition or praise, I feel shame.  

So often I don’t feel shame when Christ is belittled or mocked.  My value of Christ is so out of whack most times. My love is skewed that I don’t feel shame when men don’t make much of Christ.

I’m not sure how I got to this point, but it often seems like my value in Christ is when things are going my way.  Then will I exalt Him, treasure Him and make most of Him.  I’m so messed up in this thinking.  It shouldn’t matter my circumstances, my relationships, or how I feel from day to day.  I should be making most of Christ ALWAYS!  If I don’t, it is just one aspect of me wasting my life.

This one hurts…

My friend, Danny, shared this quote on his blog the other day.  This one hurts.  Sad thing, like many other things – I won’t do much about this.  

“If you REALLY believe in the saving power of Jesus Christ then why in the world would you show up at church every single Sunday without a carload of people who need Him?” – Brad Cooper

A portrait of the church

I love this realistic picture Ronald Rolheiser paints of the church.

To be connected with the church is to be associated with scoundrels, warmongers, fakes, child-molesters, murders, adulterers, and hypocrites of every description.  It also, at the same time, identifies you with saints and the finest persons of heroic soul within every time, country, race, and gender. To be a member of the church is to carry the mantle of both the worst sin and the finest heroism of the soul…because the church always looks exactly as it looked at the original crucifixion: God hung among thieves.

 

Woops

Honestly I don’t have much to say.  I hate when I get like this.  I feel like I am just rambling, but on the flip side I feel like I need to write something.  I mean…what’s the point of a blog if you don’t write anything anyway.  

I guess I will share something that I have been dealing with for some time now and something I struggle with on a consistent basis.  It is, how do I approach people in a manner that is grace oriented rather than the condemning judge towards them. I do this, judge, more often than I care to admit.

Through this transition to Colorado I have been trying to think of expectations I might have.  Its been hard for me to do this, because I guess my expectations personally have been so low or nonexsistent and more on the negative side that I really had no expectations for myself or the circumstances I was currently in. I’m more passive and just go with the flow.  

A few weeks ago one expectation (I wasn’t quite aware of it at the time) was made evident through a conversation I had with someone and I did not present it in a way that was beneficial or encouraging to them or myself.  

My expectation was not meet, and I wanted to change that.  I wanted to go gun-ho and change things, change circumstances and mostly people.  Even my interaction with these people I was judging and thinking how I could change them.  I was quick to draw conclusions and not approach this with the grace and characteristics of Christ.  I do this way to often.  I’m pretty harsh to be honest.  And instead of trying to change others, I really needed to worry about myself.

Minutes after our time together I realized my foot was pretty far shoved down my throat and I needed to do something about it.  I needed to confess and ask for forgiveness.

Honesty, humbleness and seeking forgiveness is something I find hard to do.  I think its a guy thing (perhaps its cross gender), but I think it’s hard for guys to show this kind of “weakness”.  It goes against everything our culture and churches tell us to be.  We are to be strong.  We are to be impenetrable and unmoving. I beg to differ.  

Pastor Mike Erre writes:

Many of us have been raised to be ashamed of our weakness, dependence, and brokenness.  We were told early and often to “quit being such a baby.” But we cannot be the strong rescuers of others until we see that we ourselves are in need of rescue.  We cannot be strong until we admit that we are not strong.  Until we are broken, our lives will be self-serving, self-reliant, and self-absorbed. *

I’ve been told I need to be strong, that I need to stop being a baby.  The result of this has been self-serving, self-reliant, and self-absorbed, as Mike writes.  Being able to talk things out and seek forgiveness was freeing.  

While I had good intentions and an expectation that was not being filled completely, I believe that God has used this opportunity to shape and mold me in several different ways:

• Realizing that I need to change my though process and method of exceptions of others.  
• That I can not change others, as much as I’d like to. Only God can.
• That were all in a journey.  While I can’t push people where I want them to be, I can be that Iron that sharpens Iron to encourage them in their own growth.
• That what I personally am desiring to be apart of my life, needs to be lived out personally (authenticity, honesty, humbleness, vulnerability) – aka what I’m selling needs to be what I’m smoking.

God is still in the process of molding and shaping me.  He is allowing me to grow up in Him and I am thankful for that. Daily, and almost constantly I need to question myself if I am approaching situations and people that are grace themed or judging themed.  

Were all messed up. I’m not any better than the next guy or gal. I need to show “weakness” when I mess up and demonstrate grace to those I interact with.

I guess I had more to say than I thought.

 

* from the book (Why Guys need God) – for more on judging listen to this. 

I walk down a different street

I don’t have much to write, but I have been thinking about this 5 chapter autobiography that I’ve heard read to me before.  I’m not sure why I have been thinking about this the past couple days, but I have, and wanted to share it with you.

Autobiography in Five Chapters

Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the pavement.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two
I walk down the same street. 
There is a deep hole in the pavement.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three
I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the pavement.
I see it is there.
I still fall in…. it is a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter Four
I walk down the same street
I see a deep hole in the pavement
I walk round it

Chapter Five
I walk down another street

-Portia Nelson

Things are going well with me.  I have about 11 job applications out and have been praying that one of those job’s would open up.  Two are hopeful possibilities right now.  Please pray that I would find something.  It seems a lot of people I know are looking for jobs right now.  I know God will provide for me and those I know.  I’m not trying to worry about it.  I know God will take care of me as He so simply takes care of the birds of the air.  What’s been on your mind?

Palettes of Paint

My Lifes a painting I’ve done blind

With each brushstroke you’ll see me blur every solid line

Over this Canvas I have stood with no one left beside me.

no on to decide if its good.

- “Sing” / The Classic Crime /  The Silver Cord

So I have been listening to the new The Classic Crime album and was reading through the lyrics the other night.  The above lyrics caught my attention.  I’m not sure that what I am about to write is what the writer intended from these lyrics, but I have been thinking about this for a few days now and wanted to write it out. I have been thinking about where I am at in life right now.  I think these word give a clear picture of not only myself but many other people.  

Our life is generally something we do on our own.  We make our best attempts and efforts to pursue dreams, goals and passions.  People observe things, the brushstrokes, and see how we mess up, and distort this painting we call life.  A lot of times we don’t offer help or even get help.  

While I am responsible for what I do here on earth with the brief moment that God has given me.  I am thankful for the palettes of paint that I’ve been able to paint with.  What I mean by that is this.  I am thankful for the people that have spoken into my life, shaped my life and made me who I am.  While some of the textures and foundations on this canvas called life are rough, distorted, dried out, cracking and lines are blurred, God has brought me to a place where I am able to paint with fresh paint.  While doing so blindly and no one really to see the end result.  I am moving the brush with more grace and swiftness that is completing something that probably no one will see.  All that matters is to the one I am painting for.  I am covering the old with new.  Realizing to whom I belong and what I was created for.  While the canvas I am painting on isn’t so clear I am trusting that when it is complete will be a magnificent reflection and glory of God.  

So why am I in Colorado?  For this very reason above.  While I think some of you have thought it foolish and not understanding why.  I think this is the best way I can explain it.

A damaged brush, habits and choices.  They were controlling me, they made me and defined me.  I saw no hope, I saw no way of getting out.  Honestly I saw no one who could be of help.  No one to be instrumental in my life and invest what needed to set me on the course to paint this masterpiece that God has defined for me.  

So here I am in Colorado, having a fresh breath fill my lungs, a new perspective, and a fresh start.  I don’t believe in running from problems, but sometimes you just need to get away, to get out, and to get free from the things that are crushing you, your person, your spirit.  Wounded by arrows, stung by things that have defined who I am that are not true, people crushing you, and self perceptions that are simply lies.  I am seeing who I am and becoming who I am in Christ.

It’s a hard and difficult road.  So much numbness and callousness. This is something I am trying to wrap my head and my Heart around.  I am thankful that I am reminded of who I am daily. Its wedging itself in and breaking this heart of stone.

I am the one Jesus loves.

What does your painting looking like?

Grace

So it’s 10 after 11 and I’m laying here in bed thinking about stuff and a question that’s popped into my head from earlier today is this:

Has the church, in it’s whole, lost the concept and demonstration of grace?

While I’m not justifying sin, etc. I wonder has the church become more of a institution that has set up pilimanary hedges of protection to protect us against the things how God doesn’t want us to be (like the pharisees)? Do we try to live righteously on our own means and traditions, and what we think is “living right”? I believe some traditions can keep us from being obedient from what and who God created us to be. Condemnation, judging, gossiping, backstabbing I think has no place in the church, were just a bunch of messed up people, with problems. Were saved saints adopted in Gods family. Why isn’t grace demonstrated knowing this?

That’s just some thought’s…I don’t know if they even make sense. What do you think?

Confession #19: I am a Whore

Today I was catching up on some podcasts from last week that I had not gotten a chance to listen to. I listen to two on a regular basis, as I have probably mentioned before, but one of them is Cornerstone Simi church in Simi Valley, CA. I can’t quite remember how I first heard there pastor Francis Chan, but he has been quite challenging to my life and how I live. Two Sundays ago he did not do the typical Fathers day message one would expect. As he explains in the video below he felt God urging him to speak on the subject of Holiness. God hit me pretty hard this morning as I was listening in the car to this message. I don’t think its quite sunk in. I am a whore. The reason I say this is because so often I go to church to ‘worship’. So often its empty because I just go out and do things, say things, etc through out the week that are a horrendous reflection of who Christ is.

People don’t like when the church is called a whore, a prostitute, adulterer. Those who read and listen may be offended. I remember a few years back a Derek Webb song was controversial because he made a similar statement as Francis has here.

I encourage you to either watch this video, or listen to the audio. I know I’ve got to take a good look at my life. I am not sure what else to write..but other than watch it. Allow it to permeate. I am not expecting perfection, not from me or anyone else. I don’t think this is a process of strict, legalism type of a system to ‘be better’. Its just actively pursuing Christ with all that we are and can be.

[flashvideo filename=http://www.someguyandhismac.com/videos/christian/2008-06-15_Francis_Chan_Holiness.mov width=450 height=337 /]

Or the Audio here or find out more about Cornerstone Simi.